Thursday, July 9, 2009

adventures in motherhood.

so i'm sitting on the 34 trolley yesterday with my backpack on my lap (to make as much room as possible for my fellow riders), minding my own business, when i feel the top of my pants getting wet. i pick up my backpack and notice the bottom is completely wet. my first thought is, "shit! i put my leftover indian food from lunch in my backpack - it must have spilled." so i quickly open my backpack to figure out who's the culprit and start pawing through all my work papers, lunch leftovers, and ... my cooler bag full of breastmilk.

yup, a full 5 ounce bag of breastmilk which i had dutifully pumped that day at work had punctured and leaked all over everything. my calendar, which i use to keep track of both my work and home life, was soaked. a high powered fan managed to dry most of the pages out but it still smells like milk today.

i'm taking it as a sign - trying to separate my professional identity and my mama identity may not be so simple. i'm a mom, and a trainer, and a lot of other things, and when i'm at work i'm also a mama- either because i know i better wrap up this presentation quick so i can go pump or because when i'm scheduling presentations i now do so in my milky-scented calendar or because i'm trying to end domestic violence so my little zora doesn't have to grow up in a world where 1 in 3 women experience violence by their intimate partner.

i'm also taking it as a sign that motherhood will continue to throw zingers at me, and i better be ready to laugh and keep truckin. just when i thought i had had enough bodily fluids leaked on me, as i was heading to bed last night i went to grab fine just the way it is, the book i'm reading right now, only to discover that the cover was, well, covered with spit up. motherhood is clearly full of surprises, and i'm trying my hardest to be up for the challenge!


MNT/MCA said...

I feel you about [trying to find] the zen of bodily fluids. Who knew there were so many varieties and that they could insinuate themselves into so many unexpected places? Someone knew but they didn't mention it to me-- I wouldn't have believed it anyway. Blood, sweat and tears is just the G-rated version.

Jessica Braider said...

I applaud your ability to keep your sense of humor in such an awkward and frustrating moment. Pumped milk is liquid gold- my son has been weaned for a number of months now and yet I can't face throwing away the breast milk that is still in the freezer. And you are right- you are both a mama and a professional woman- I say embrace the dual identity! While the tension between the two may bring awkward and painful moments, it also allows us to see the world in a new and valuable way.