one year and 37 weeks

it's been one year since mom passed on from this world to the next.
it's been 37 weeks that bean has been getting ready to enter this world from the womb world.

i am celebrating both of them today.

i am remembering mom today - not the mom who died in hospice a year ago, her body crippled with multiple myeloma, but the mom who mothered me for 62 years. the mom who taught me what unconditional love feels like. the mom who was always my champion. the mom who taught me the value of true friends and community, in good times and bad. the mom who provided endless opportunities for fun and play, and knew how to have a good laugh. the mom who, whether working or not, always put a home cooked meal on the table and insisted we eat together as a family - even if this meant dinner at 8:30pm. the mom with the green thumb, whose yards were always beautiful and whose houses were full of plants. the mom who knew how to use coupons and look for sales and stretch a little money into a lot of groceries. the wordsmith mom - with her intense love of crossword puzzles and the way she could command a room during her trainings. the mom who spoke her mind. the stubborn, fierce, my-way-or-the-highway mom. the mom who could talk about her children endlessly to friends or strangers.

i believe that one of the best ways i can honor mom's spirit is to (attempt to) bring some of what i learned from her about being a good mother to my relationship with bean. i have felt her spirit with me strongly in the last few weeks, and believe she's going to be with me during my labor and my early journey into motherhood. i am very excited about bean's arrival, and hope that the love that mom offered to me during her time here on earth will nourish bean and our new family.

i appreciate all of you who remembered me today with emails and phone calls.