dangerous visions

i love the sun magazine. it's sometimes inspiring, often sappy, and always (at least in part) depressing. but it's also well written and in every issue i find a nugget (or two, or three) of truth.

the latest issue has an interview with irish poet and philosopher john o'donohue.

i wanted to share with you one nugget of truth about relationships from o'donohue that i thought was beautifully said:

There is a way in which we treat our relationships almost like a colonial expedition: we want to colonize the space, all the territory in between, until there is no wilderness left. Most couples who have deadened in each other's presence have colonized their space this way. They have domesticated each other beyond recognition. Sometimes you see a beautiful woman who quickens your heart. Then you meet her again years later, and she has become a domesticated relic of who she once was, and you think, Where is the dangerous vision that I saw in her? The same happens to men.

I think it is more interesting to be with somebody who still has his or her wilderness territory -- and by that I don't mean bleak, burned-out, damaged areas where wounding has occurred; rather, I mean genuine wilderness. Upon seeing that in the other person, you promise yourself: One thing I will never do is try to domesticate her wilderness. Because the authenticity of her difference and the purity of her danger and the depth of her affection are all being secretly nourished by that wilderness, as all of my spirit is being nourished by my own wilderness.

John O'Donohue in "The Unseen Life that Dreams Us," The Sun Magazine April 2007

kick ass little girl responds to monsters

watch the video. she rocks.

spring has sprung on locust street!

everywhere i look out my bedroom windows spring has arrived. it's glorious.
who cares if snow is in the forecast for tomorrow?

update on bush's family planning appointee

just a short note to share some good news...
on november 30th i told you about eric keroack, bush's family planning appointee to health and human services who is anti-choice and anti-birth control.

well, just four months later, he has resigned! hooray!

in other news...there is a new "movement" afoot called generation life.

this is a group of youth who are committing themselves to remaining virgins until they are married. they also come out and intimidate the patients at the abortion clinic where i volunteer.
if you need any proof that the abstinence-until-marriage folks are operating from a misogynistic, patriarchal viewpoint, just check out this page of the gen life website.

some of my favorites:

• "A Real Woman...Loves babies and nurtures her family. She is the heart of her home, finds strength in her husband, understands sacrificial love and is happy and content."
• "How Far is Too Far?... Wrong question! The question that you should be asking is: 'How far can I go to respect and honor my date, leading him to purity?' ...Guys are stimulated differently than girls. Open mouth kissing will lead a guy to become sexually aroused but a girl will simply feel more affection towards him. Knowing how far to go means understanding that guys have a higher sex drive and girls have a higher love drive." (my emphasis)
• And Masturbation..."Though it may be fueled by our culture, masturbation is essentially a selfish act. To combat it, try to remember to be generous and charitable toward others. This will help stop the selfish attitude. Smile to others. Stop gossiping. Stay away from romance novels."

this is so old school it's hardly surprising. and yet, still so maddening.
i don't have words for how sad it is that a new generation of women is getting taught this bullshit.

things that have made me happy lately

there have been many.
but i just want to share a few, if i may.


1) i finally finished these arm warmers for my lovely housemate jess. luckily march and april have brought a few cool days, since i sheepishly handed these over at the END of winter. anyway, i think they are pretty funky and were really fun to make. thanks marielle for the pattern! and thanks jess for averting your eyes from the mistakes i refused to back up and fix.

2) who can argue with an april fools scavenger hunt?! especially one sponsored by the ACLU of PA? one of my tasks was to ask 5 random tourists what their favorite freedom is. i grabbed a family as they were going into the constitution center. my favorite answers were from the kids. the little boy paused, and thought, and then enthusiastically yelled "bear arms!" as he pushed up his sleeves. just to make sure his joke was totally clear he asked his parents, "b-a-r-e, right?" his sister was having a hard time coming up with her favorite freedom. her parents asked her, "what do you always say when we come in your room to tuck you in at night?" she mumbled something about "where's my teddy bear?" her parents then said, "noooo! what's the other thing you say?" to which she replied, "WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT?!"

3) i was innocently riding the train the other day coming home from work when i innocently happened to look over the shoulder of the woman sitting in front of me to see what she was reading. (ok, so i do it all the time! you know you do it too. but it was innocent, i swear.) i was surprised to see that the title of her book was "thong on fire." yes, it's true folks. this caught my attention. i went on to read part of the page, and well...i no longer felt so innocent. in fact, i felt...well, i don't think i should say. it made me happy to see this mild-mannered, mainstream-looking middle aged woman reading "thong on fire." then i came home and looked the book up on amazon. the heroine's name? saucy.