adventures in motherhood.

so i'm sitting on the 34 trolley yesterday with my backpack on my lap (to make as much room as possible for my fellow riders), minding my own business, when i feel the top of my pants getting wet. i pick up my backpack and notice the bottom is completely wet. my first thought is, "shit! i put my leftover indian food from lunch in my backpack - it must have spilled." so i quickly open my backpack to figure out who's the culprit and start pawing through all my work papers, lunch leftovers, and ... my cooler bag full of breastmilk.

yup, a full 5 ounce bag of breastmilk which i had dutifully pumped that day at work had punctured and leaked all over everything. my calendar, which i use to keep track of both my work and home life, was soaked. a high powered fan managed to dry most of the pages out but it still smells like milk today.

i'm taking it as a sign - trying to separate my professional identity and my mama identity may not be so simple. i'm a mom, and a trainer, and a lot of other things, and when i'm at work i'm also a mama- either because i know i better wrap up this presentation quick so i can go pump or because when i'm scheduling presentations i now do so in my milky-scented calendar or because i'm trying to end domestic violence so my little zora doesn't have to grow up in a world where 1 in 3 women experience violence by their intimate partner.

i'm also taking it as a sign that motherhood will continue to throw zingers at me, and i better be ready to laugh and keep truckin. just when i thought i had had enough bodily fluids leaked on me, as i was heading to bed last night i went to grab fine just the way it is, the book i'm reading right now, only to discover that the cover was, well, covered with spit up. motherhood is clearly full of surprises, and i'm trying my hardest to be up for the challenge!

Support the Breastfeeding Promotion Act

Hi all, See below for a very important message from Momsrising.org about the Breastfeeding Promotion Act. As a breastfeeding, working, pumping mama myself I feel quite passionately about this - please take action on this!

Friends,

Did you know that tough economic times may be making it harder for women to breastfeed? According to a recent ABC news story, one of the fall-outs from the recession is that some new mothers are feeling forced to take shorter maternity leaves due to concerns about finances and job stability.

Unfortunately, women who have to cut their maternity leave short often can’t continue to breastfeed their infants because many workplaces don't adequately support breastfeeding. That's a big problem when you consider that 56% of women with infants are now the in the labor force--we need common-sense workplace policies to make sure that moms who want to breastfeed can.

Act now for nursing moms by urging your Members of Congress to support the Breastfeeding Promotion Act!

mourning dove babies!

the eggs hatched! here are some photos of mama feeding the babies.

some new pictures of zora

working mama

i've been back at work for about a week and a half. 

the first day was incredibly painful.   i felt physically ill leaving my little one.

did you ever watch a nightmare on elm street, those crazy freddy krueger horror movies?

there's this one scene where he's on one side of the room and his victim is on the other. they're connected because freddy has pulled the tendons of the victim out - you see the victim looking horrified that half his body is stretched to the other side of the room.  that's sort of how i felt on monday.

it got easier every day. it really, really helped that zora was in the completely capable, loving hands of her nana, carol.  and that carol sends me regular text messages throughout the day letting me know what zora is up to.  (i'm not sure how i'm going to survive when she finally goes to daycare.) 

my usual efficient, multi-tasking self has succumbed to fatigue and delirium. i forget my pumped breast milk at work and have to hike up the three flights of stairs to retrieve it. i forget to wear nursing pads and leak all over.  my milk spurts out onto my computer keyboard. i forget words such as bird and bus. the highlight of my work day is seeing how many ounces i was able to pump.  i can't WAIT to get home to give zora a kiss, and could care less about all the work i should stay and finish when the clock says 5pm.

it's funny because my return to work coincided with the return of the mourning doves to the window sill outside my office. mama bird laid two perfectly round, white eggs. i'm waiting for babies birds to appear. stay tuned! i love having a mama buddy right outside my office window! 

she smiles...

hush little baby: zora loves this guy.